Photographic evidence that there was, in fact, a sippy cup at my party. Note: it was NOT filled with vodka. We are old.
“When did we go from shot luges to sippy cups at my birthday party?!?” I asked, a bit aghast. It was August 2011, and I was beginning to realize things had really changed over the years.
It has now been nearly nine years since the birthday party that will go down in infamy. Let’s just say there was a lot of Lil’ Jon blasting and a girl no one knew was eating spinach dip out of the bowl with her hands. (When people who are going on nine hours of partying refer to you simply as, “Drunk Girl,” you know you’re a mess.) One of us spotted her on Beauty and the Geek years later, and a flurry of texts went out among the crew along the lines of, “Drunk Girl is on the WB!”
These days the only party-goers eating dip with their hands are toddlers. Things change, and that’s OK.
So, anyway, it’s almost time for my next party and I’m already excited.
Tonight, I’m hosting a party planning dinner for one of my best friends with whom I share a birthday. (She happens to save people’s lives for a living so there are now a lot more doctors at my parties than aspiring reality stars.) For the last four low-key years we’ve held a joint birthday party with fabulous food and an ever-increasing number of small children. What we lack in chaos and debauchery, we now make up for in elaborate entrees and aesthetics….
I desperately want to throw a pirate party, and this evening I’m hoping to convince my friend that we need a dessert table, complete with treasure maps, pearls, and a papier mache kraken centerpiece.
I decide to make watermelon boat centerpieces for a little pirate party inspiration….
Feeling nostalgic for my wilder days, I crank up Hank Williams, Jr.’s All My Rowdy Friends (Have Settled Down) and set about fruit carving.
Trader Joe’s only had odd, circular watermelons, so my ships are going to be more skiff-like, but I’ll get over it. This is just a rough draft anyway.
I cut the watermelon lengthwise, and prepare to hollow out the ships. I realize I don’t own a melon baller, and I’m struck with a feeling of intense shame. (I must add this to my birthday list along with the First Aid Flask I desperately want.)
I use an ice cream scoop to hollow out the boats because it’s the best I can do for now. I then place the melon balls back into the boat in case my friend wants to eat the centerpieces.
I cut paper sails and pierce them with wooden skewers. I then insert the skewer sails into the boats. I cut toothpicks and use them to anchor Kermit and Yoda’s feet to their pirate skiffs.
I finish the display by surrounding the boats with a cadre of plastic sharks… just because.
My ships aren’t awesome, but they’ll serve as decent visual aids. Plus they were fun to make.
Here’s hoping the pirate theme passes….
Captain Kermit and his Jedi companion steer their watermelon skiffs through treacherous shark-infested waters.