No One Likes Her (Or I Eat Shrimp and Tilapia Soup While Sandy Punishes the East Coast)

So, here’s what my Facebook newsfeed looked like last night:

“Does anyone in Brooklyn have any wine they could spare? Preferably a Gruner? The shop up the street is closed because of Sandy and we could really use some right now.”
*Comment from Concerned Friend* “I hope you don’t have to settle for a chardonnay, dude.”

“Do you think they’d deliver more Makers by canoe? We’re almost out on the UWS.”

“If only candles powered cable TV.”

These updates were interspersed with instagram photos of abandoned SUVs in flooded streets and wet little dogs looking really sad and bedraggled in their ineffectual coats.

And now you know what was on the minds of my New York friends last night. Sandy might have been wreaking havoc in their streets, but she did nothing to diminish their senses of humor.

I’ll admit I felt a bit guilty that it was 88 degrees in Southern California yesterday. As the sun set outside my window, I watched the coverage of Sandy’s devastating power, and I was grateful I was warm and dry. I chuckled as I read a variety of tweets and status updates, glad my friends were safe — even if they were soaked from walking their dogs in the storm — and nearly out of booze.

As the evening wore on, the air cooled considerably and I found myself craving something warm and hearty. (Maybe it was those shivering reporters standing in knee deep water….) I decided to make a comforting shrimp and tilapia fisherman’s soup from a recipe I found online last week.

It’s delicious, simple, and definitely worth making. You can find the recipe on Cookin Canuck here.

This shrimp and tilapia soup is easy to make, and it’s also good the next day.

As my grandpa would say, “It’s better than a kick in the head.”

Or a shark in your street….

The photos of a shark in a New Jersey neighborhood have gone totally viral. Kevin McCarty posted them on his Facebook page and insists they’re legit. Photo Courtesy of Kevin McCarty via Grind TV.

I think my friend’s five-year-old niece summed up the storm best. Upon learning that school would be closed the following day because of Sandy, she told her mother, “No one likes her.”

That’s right, Sandy. No one likes you.

Now, here’s hoping the east coast recovers quickly because as funny as my friends are, there’s nothing funny about the devastation Sandy brought….

This Yankee Likes Bourbon (Or How to Make Spiked Old Fashioned Shakes)

Spiked shakes are amazing. Also bourbon belongs in ice cream. Trust me on this one.

There’s this fabulous pub in my neighborhood that makes spiked milkshakes. They are divine. I mean, what’s not to love about bourbon in your ice cream? I’ll tell you. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Unless you consider the calories, but shhh, let’s not speak of such things.

As my good friend once put it, “Counting calories is as damaging as counting the number of guys you’ve slept with.”

Amen, sister.

Some things just don’t need to be tallied.

(This also applies to counting the months and sometimes years of my accidental celibacy, but again, let’s not speak of these things.)

Back to bourbon, ice cream, and happiness.

The pub also serves a pretzel with a beer fondue sauce that will change your life. I need figure out how to make that as well, but I digress. Tonight I’m having a girlfriend over for a movie night, and I’m going to make some of those fabulous spiked shakes.

See, I promised Jerry, the sweet old guy up the street, that I would watch Gone With the Wind, and I have been putting it off. For weeks. Every time I stop to chat with him, he opens with, “Have you watched the movie yet?”

Each time I must hang my head in shame and admit that I have not.

I mean, the movie is FOUR HOURS LONG! Four. Hours. Long.

Just so you know, the last time I did anything for four hours uninterrupted, it was called sleeping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the movie won Oscars and is all famous and shit, but I have about a 90-minute attention span, max. Sure, I have two film degrees, which means I have endured more long, obtuse “art” films than anyone should ever be exposed to unless they’re being tortured by a rogue terrorist cell, but there’s a reason I work in TV and not features now.

So anyway, I need to bribe myself to sit still tonight, and I need my friend Kim, and my friend bourbon, to force me to do it. This is why I’m making truffle popcorn and Spiked Old Fashioned shakes to accompany Margaret Mitchell’s masterpiece.

If you have a movie night coming up and want to mix it up a bit, the shake recipe is below and the popcorn recipe is here. You may not need bourbon and butterfat to sit still like I do, but it’ll make it more fun. I promise.

Spiked Old Fashioned Shake

2 C vanilla ice cream
4 oz bourbon whiskey
2 oz orange juice
¼ tsp Angostura bitters
3 maraschino cherries, plus one additional cherry for garnish
Whipped cream for garnish, optional

Scoop the ice cream into the blender. Add the next four ingredients and blend thoroughly. Pour the shake into a glass and garnish with whipped cream and a cherry.

Consume. Smile. Go into a creamy bourbon-induced coma while watching Scarlett O’Hara shout about Yankees in Tara for four hours.

OK, anyway, this Yankee is going to down some Kentucky Bourbon now.

Later, ya’ll.