Gin, the Lawn, and the Crashy-Bam-Bam (Or My New Ouchy-Boo-Boo)

Tuesday night I had an accident… but not that kind of accident.

I didn’t crash my car, I didn’t wet my pants, and I didn’t make out with an uggo.

I did, however, step into an unseen hole in my lawn. (It was dark and there may have been a bit of gin involved.) I lost my balance and went flying onto the sidewalk, whereupon I skinned my knee and gruesomely shredded the palm of my hand. I fell with such force that I also hit my chin on the ground, jarring my head and neck. Mercifully, my chin landed on the grass on the other side of the sidewalk, and I didn’t shred my face. (Thank the good Lord for small miracles and stuff.)

My dog sat patiently next to me as I lay on the ground. I explained to him, “Mommy went crashy-bam-bam and needs a minute to get up. She has an ouchy-boo-boo.” Crashy-Bam-Bam is a term he’s familiar with, given that he was an enthusiastic and rather clumsy puppy. And now that he’s sporting three-inch scars from his recent cancer surgery, he has heard a lot about ouchy-boo-boos from me as well.

(I like to think he understands me, but it may all be science fiction. #whatever)

Finally, after a few moments passed, I managed to pull myself to my feet and we finished our walk with me feeling rather sorry for myself.

A large bruise has since formed on my kneecap, and my hand is mummified in gauze. It’s all terribly sad. (Or at least I think so.)

I’ve always been clumsy. It’s just not something you outgrow, especially if you’re fond of sapphire and tonic.

So anyway, I’m wounded.

Wanna send me flowers?

I like peonies, and they’re in season.

Dark-pink-peonies-at-Columbia-Road

This many would fix my situation. Source

And now I’ll stop wallowing in self pity and get some work done.

XOXO

I Have an Ice Cube Problem (Or There’s a Titanic in my Gin and Tonic)

I’m a sucker for wacky things. Like, I see a bottle opener shaped like a shark and it takes all of my self-control not to purchase it. It’s not like I need another bottle opener, but you should hear the arguments I make in my mind for its utter necessity. Never mind that the item is not even an anatomically accurate representation of a shark….

How could I live another day without this? Photo Courtesy of Amazon.

Sometimes, my rational side loses the argument and I buy completely frivolous items — particularly when there’s a theme party involved. Like the skull and cross bones ice cube tray I just had to have for my Peter Pan Birthday Party last summer.

Or my Gin and Titonic ice cube tray. In my defense, that ice cube tray was a gift — from a lovely person who obviously gets me. Gin and Tonics are one of my favorite cocktails, and they’re so much more fun when I can drop a few iceberg and ship shaped ice cubes into them.

See? Fun.

If I liked the movie Titanic, this would be the perfect cocktail for a Titanic movie night with the girls, but I don’t. Incidentally, if I were entertaining company with G&Ts, I would probably buy Fever Tree Tonic instead of the more pedestrian Schweppes, and I might even substitute a more complex gin like a Hendricks instead of my go-to Bombay Sapphire, but I digress….

If I’m being honest with myself, I’m much more likely to host a Star Wars party, though. I think that means I neeed to get these Han Solo in carbonite ice cubes. I mean, these things are so amazing. I die. (See how the rationalization starts?)

Come on. I need these, right? Photo courtesy of Amazon.

While we’re on the topic of movie theme parties, I probably need these Batman ice cube trays so I can throw a Dark Knight Rises party in honor of the DVD release on December 4.

Photo courtesy of Amazon.

So, anyway, this is how my mind works. And this is how I spend $50 I should probably just put in my savings account….