Sad Sushi and Book Recs (Or Random Procrastination)

I have a confession: Nozawa and his SugarFish have basically ruined raw fish for me. Today I thought I’d be frugal-ish, so I walked to Sushi Stop instead of SugarFish. I saved myself a sad $18 and ended up with salmon I wanted to feed to the dog because it just wasn’t on a bed of warm, sticky rice. My Boxer really is going to get the albacore for dinner because I just can’t choke it down…

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And because I love the goofy bastard more than I love people.

He really is, like, literally a bastard. He really doesn’t have a daddy — a truth that troubles my grandmother whenever she remembers who I am.

On the bright side that whole situation has given me an idea for a novel. I’m starting to outline it today. I have procrastinated by reading other people’s books for long enough.

And as one last ditch effort at procrastination, here are recs from my recent reading endeavors:

Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter – This book is hella disturbing and you may not want to be my friend any more after you read it, but I promise you won’t be able to put it down. I read it in 24 hours.

The Book of Polly by Kathy Hepinstall – This is one of most delightful books I’ve read in absolutely forever. I devoured it in four days and was devastated when it ended. It’s impossible not to fall in love with Polly. The woman shoots blanks at squirrels, doesn’t understand why her daughter’s Jesus doesn’t let her drink margaritas, and brings a falcon to a parent-teacher conference. I want to be Polly when I grow up.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty – From the author of Big Little Lies (a great novel and a solid HBO miniseries), this is also being adapted. I’m sure Hollywood will destroy it because it’s just perfect now. This is not to be confused with Still Alice, which I can’t bring myself to read because of the whole-my-Grandma-doesn’t-know-who-I-am-thing. This book also deals with memory loss, but in a charming, Moriarty kind of way that leads to love and stuff.

The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty – Yes, Liane again. This woman can write. Trust.

And now I really will work on my outline because I’m not trying to wait tables for the rest of my life.

Also?

I need to eat better sushi on the reg.

Not So Divine (Or I Become a Plumber)

You know how I promised these posts would be “Dedicated to All Things Canine and Divine.”? Well, here’s what’s NOT divine.

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My sink situation.

My maintenance guy is out of town for a family emergency and this bog of eternal stench has been brewing since Thursday. I decided to take matters into my own hands today because I just CAN’T with the smell for another minute.

I watched a bunch of YouTube videos about sink clogs this morning, which obviously makes me a plumber, and then I set off for Home Depot with my assistant for supplies.

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He was mesmerized by the place.

Who can blame him, though? The Home Depot is made of amazing.

It was a successful outing until…

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Someone stepped in a broken bag of cement.

In his defense, I did too.

Once I solve the sink problem I may need to investigate how to clean the leather without accidentally making concrete on my seats.

Anyway back to the sink…

I drained the stagnant bog water by removing part of the pipe, but the blockage that caused the problem in the first place is somewhere in the P trap, and I can’t get the slip nuts off to remove it. I probably need a wrench or someone with bigger hands to get it off.

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Slip nuts and I are NOT friends.

Phil’s* supposed to call me later to walk me through solutions for the sink because I may have reached a bit of an impasse, so for now I’m taking a break and drinking a beer because it seems like a good thing to do now that I’m a plumber. #sortakinda

*He’s back in Minnesota, but I’m not mad at him anymore. LONG story.