Of Cancer and Gift Baskets (Or Smiles and Tears)

Friday my monster had surgery.

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His post-op lampshade situation was short-lived, however.

He figured out how to remove it because he is a canine criminal mastermind — even when he’s high on morphine.

I am supposed to find out this week if his cancer spread and if we’re facing the beginning of a battle — or the end. I try to put it out of my head as much as I can because I don’t want to waste time worrying until I know it’s necessary, but prognosis aside, his three big incisions break my heart. I almost cried when I saw them.

Full confession: I love my dog more than I love most people, so this isn’t easy. Maybe that makes me a misanthrope, or maybe he’s just a very special beast. Either way, I have been loathe to leave my house since bringing him home from the vet. I’ve turned down dinner invitations, hiking offers, and I bailed on book club. I just want to be home so I can watch him sleep.

Here he is crushing Cee Cee the Cancer Lion during a recent nap.

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Die Cancer Lion! Die!

I bought Cee Cee for him the day his initial needle biopsies came back positive for cancer. I cried so much that night that I woke up the next morning with my right eye nearly swollen shut. I had to ice my eyelids before I went to work. (It wasn’t awesome.)

I did manage to drag myself away from my patient this weekend to make an appearance at a baby shower, albeit, a brief appearance.

I probably spent more time putting together the gift basket than I spent at the shower, but I did what I could.

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I like presents.

That’s why I get carried away making them look pretty for people.

Like this one.

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It was a pre-cancer project.

Presents help me deal — and they help me express things I sometimes fail to communicate properly.

That’s also why I cook for people. It’s my way of saying I care about them even if I’m lousy at saying it sometimes.

Now I’m off to blast some Matoma remixes and make myself a quiche because I need to show myself a little love.

 

 

Wit’s End With Carpet (Or Ripping It Up Again)

Maybe it was touring my friend’s new condo yesterday, or maybe it was my restlessness with my life, or it could have been my new mirror without a wall to call home… but today I started ripping out my bedroom carpet. (hashtag hideous)

See?

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Carpet carnage 

The carpet is gross, beige-gray, and never worked in my home — or my life… so it’s going away.

I’ll need a rug for the room, but the prospect of purchasing one excites me, so it’s not exactly a downside.

I also eagerly await the chance to update the art in the room. The overall aesthetic of the room has always bothered me, and now I’ll get to do something about it.

Oh, and the mirror that may or may not have inspired today’s demolition initiative?

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Here it is in all of its antiquey gilded glory.

I’m working on a plan for it.

#designmastermind