Boxer Proofing the Pantry (Or Why I Need Baby Locks on Everything)

Today I attempt to Boxer proof my place. If you don’t know why this is necessary, just imagine that your two-year old nephew weighs 65 pounds and then you’ll sort of understand what I’m dealing with.

My baby locks have arrived from Amazon and I excitedly put half of my person under the kitchen cabinet, ready to screw in the locks. I take out my electric screwdriver and press it against the screws.

No good.

The wood is too dense and the little screwdriver doesn’t seem to have enough torque. Dammit. I think I need a drill. I text a few guys and none of them own any power tools. At all. (LA men are utterly useless.)

After a quick trip to Home Depot, I am now the proud owner of a Ryobi drill and a big box of drill bits. (I am terribly pleased with myself.)

Fifteen minutes into the project, however, I understand why construction sites are littered with cans of Tecate and silos of Budweiser. Contracting sucks. Did I mention I’m inside of a cabinet? Or that my dogs continually try to join me in the cabinet so that they can lick my face? My head is resting on a George Foreman grill, and I think there may be a pair of pliers poking into my neck. This sucks.

I use blue painters tape to hold the plastic locks in place. Then, I have to hammer nails a few centimeters into the cabinet to create holes to guide the screws in place. As it turns out, the electric screwdriver will now suffice. Oh well…. I am not regretting my drill purchase, however. This is because my curtain rods are currently suspended by zip ties in an unappealing and un-aesthetically pleasing manner.

The curtain rod project will have to wait, though, because Operation Boxer Baby Locks is more pressing. If you’re wondering why, this should answer your question.

To hell with our wheat-free diet! You didn’t lock the pantry, lady.

Anyway, the first cabinet lock goes in without much of a hitch, but the second cabinet is awkwardly close to the garbage disposal tank and there isn’t room for the drill. I have to manually crank the screw in with a regular screw driver and then place the drill 90 degrees counterclockwise from, oh never mind. This is terribly boring. Let’s just say that part of the project really sucked.

After the cabinet locks are in place it’s time to tackle the pantry. This is the easiest of the locks to install. This is either because I have gotten good at carpentry or because I am not flat on my back with a power tool precariously held over my head. Either way, I’m just glad to be done. I think it’s probably Miller time….

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4 thoughts on “Boxer Proofing the Pantry (Or Why I Need Baby Locks on Everything)

  1. Thank you for this post! Not only fun to read, but gives some good thought of what we will have to do once our blessed big bundle of joy comes into our life in the next six months. We’re going to be adopting through our local boxer rescue this fall (bringing a new dog home during the extreme heat of the Texas summers would be a very, very bad idea, lol).

  2. That’s wonderful you’re rescuing a Boxer! My big boy is a rescue as well. They’re such sweet, funny dogs. Albus is terribly earnest yet incredibly playful. He needs a ton of exercise, which works out well for me because I love to hike.

  3. hey its 5’o clock somewhere lady! You never cease to amaze me on how you make your life so doggie friendly. you are lovely and so far the blog has me laughing out loud (to myself)
    stay tuned for!!! love you, danielle

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